Thursday, December 4, 2014

3rd and Final Homestudy Visit

Tuesday we had our final homestudy with our social worker. She came over and asked us more questions about our marriage, our preparation for our baby, talked to us about signs of neglect and abuse even in infants, and we talked about the rest of the process. Then she walked through our house making sure we had everything baby proofed that needed it and that we have ample room for us and a baby.
Next she will write our homestudy report, we will get to review it to fact check and then she will send it off to be finalized. Once it is finalized she will give us a service plan - further education she wants us to complete prior to our placement. And when it is finalized our profile book will go into circulation at the Virginia Bethany offices. The pregnancy counselors start with people who are a match, but have been waiting the longest, so we probably won't be shown right away, but we will get a notification when our book has been seen.
And that is where we are now! Our profile book is done and we are awaiting feedback, and then we just wait for finalization and then wait for a match! And I'm still getting asked a lot if we are still accepting donations and of course we are! We have A LOT of money left to go, once our homestudy is finalized we owe $7500, then when the baby is placed with us we owe $15,000.

So the last few posts have been more informational about the process than about us and what we are experiencing, and so I feel I have to share what we have been going through. Over all so far, our adoption process has been good, busy, bumpy, but we've felt really good the whole time. The only disappointing thing has been fundraising. We had all kinds of fundraising plans in place, but no one has stepped up. We asked everyone we knew to donate items for an auction and we got absolutely no response. We did a fundraising campaign where we did raise the money we needed which was AWESOME, but most of that was from family. We have just been really disappointed that our friends have not stepped up. I had 5 co-workers donate which is amazing, and we had 1 family from church donate money and someone donate baby-proofing stuff, 2 friends from high school, and 1 person we didn't know. Now, this is not to say we are not thankful and blown away by the love from these people, we absolutely are, we just thought more people we were close with would donate. We also expected more support from our church and people at church. Throughout the whole process we have had one family at church donate, and they have been so generous. Maybe this is naive, but I really thought we would get the most support from people at church. We know people and have read about how people have paid for their entire adoption through fundraising, we even know someone who raised almost $10,000 through an auction made up of donations from friends and local businesses. We were planning to do a puzzle fundraiser where someone pays $5 and sponsors a puzzle piece, but since we only had a handful of $5 donations last time, we don't want to end up with an unfinished puzzle.
Now, please understand this is not to encourage donating because that should come from your heart and not from a place of guilt, this is not supposed to make anyone feel guilty, it is just so that anyone reading our blog who may be considering adoption can know our honest experience and our honest disappointments. The most help we have found with our adoption experience is other adoptive families being honest with us. We also know that God will provide and we are not worried about our finances.

Here is a good blog post about what to do when you have friends adopting, lots of people don't know what to do and don't know how to ask:
http://www.onethousandforone.com/2012/09/19/unsolicited-advice-what-to-do-when-your-friends-adopt-an-infant/

And as always, please please please ask us any questions you might have,
Love,
Kristen and Adam

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