Thursday, January 29, 2015

Always Waiting

Quick update: We finished and submitted our profile books and they are awesome! We have one if you want to see it, just ask! (I'm very proud of it). Our homestudy was also finally finished last week, but not approved yet. Other than that we are waiting...

We are still waiting.... for our homestudy to be approved, for our service plan, to hear from our social worker, to be put on "the list," for $7,500 to pay the next set of fees, and, ultimately; for a baby. We were told that our homestudy would be finalized before the end of the year, and it wasn't until last week. We were told we would be approved by the end of last week, and then again we were told we would be and we would get our service plan on Tuesday, and we still haven't. And the list could go on. The more I've thought about the name of our blog, and the wait we are experiencing, the more I've realized that in life we are always waiting for something, the weekend, the end of the work day, to meet your "soul mate", for the next big event, for your child to be born, for your child to graduate, and on, and on, and on, and for those of us that consider ourselves Christ followers, we are in the ultimate wait for His return. I will be the first to tell you, waiting sucks. We aren't even in the real "wait" yet, we are waiting to be waiting. And it is awful. I think the worst is the unknown, if I knew a day we would get a baby, the wait would be more bearable, I could count the days, but with the unknown the wait is torture. In more ways than you might think. It's so hard to think of what my kids (my students) will do when I'm gone, what kind of substitute they may have, will they get any work done. It's stressful to think about trying to get on a list for daycare when we have no "due date." It's hard to think of taking 12 weeks without pay and trying to pay the bills and our rent. It's very stressful to think about waiting to add a member to our family with the idea that the birth mother could change her mind at the last second. I could go on, but I won't. The hardest wait is just waiting for our child.
But, there is always hope in the waiting. God would not have designed us to wait for eternity (literally), if we couldn't handle it, if there was no hope in it, and if there wasn't something especially sweet about His presence while waiting (or on days you are just more aware of your waiting). Waiting means more reliance on God and not on myself. It is a constant reminder that His plan and His timing is always better than mine. The amount of time we have to wait is perfect, and will ensure that we get our baby. It is also a reminder that God always provides. We will get everything we need when He sees fit and when it is best for us.
So Waiting Quietly is fitting for this blog, even as it changes to not be so much about the adoption process in the future. Waiting quietly is waiting without complaining, without worry, without focusing on the wait. Waiting quietly is resting in God's presence, settling in to the wait, enjoying the blessings we are experiencing now, and preparing our hearts for what God has in store.

Psalm 62: 1-2 - I wait quietly before God for my victory comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.

And as always,
 Any questions or comments are always welcome!!!
Adam and Kristen