Tuesday, April 28, 2015

The Island of Adoption

As of today we have been "officially waiting" 3 months. On May 2, we will have been in the adoption process for 11 months. Again, I cannot say enough, how we feel like we have been waiting much longer than 3 months.


Waiting for your child is super hard. It's probably one of the hardest things we've ever done. What makes it so hard is that we are going through it alone. When we were going through the paper work and the homestudy, we heard from our social worker often, the agency often, and we had people asking us where we were in the process. Now we are in the dreaded "wait." And we are alone. We don't know anyone who has gone through a domestic adoption (we do know people who have adopted internationally, and that wait is equally hard, but it's a different kind of wait), we don't hear from our social worker or our agency, and people have stopped asking because they know we are stuck in the wait. I don't think this is anyone's fault at all. And we are loved by our friends and family, no doubt, and we know that they are on this journey with us, but they don't know what to ask, what to say,or  how to support us. And I don't expect them to, because I don't even know what I want people to say, or ask, or how to tell them how to support us, except for through prayer. But we are still feeling alone. We wish that our social worker would call, we wish we had someone who knew what this experience was like, and we wish we knew what we needed. But, we don't know any of these things. We feel lost, and like we are on this adoption island. I never thought that adoption could be so lonely. But, it is - at least right now. We know, once we know more that it will get better - at least, we hope. Once we have baby, we will be surrounded with love for that baby, and people will know what to say, and how to support us again. 
And there are things that get us through, give us hope, and keep us going. Our family and friends' love for us, and for our baby. The support we do receive. The fact that once we meet our baby, we will forget about the island. The fact that even when we feel alone, we know we aren't. Our friends and family are with us, and so is God. The One who called us to this journey has not left us alone. He is here on the island with us, even when we don't feel Him, He is still near. That He who created us knows and cares how we feel, knows what to say to us, and knows how to support us, even though we don't. He is our hope, and He is our future. He will show us that with Him, we never really are on an island, and even when we think we are, He will rescue us from it. So for now, we are on the island, but we are learning that we aren't alone, and never will be. 

Matthew 28: 20 - ... And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Psalm 23: 4 - Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid for You are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

Psalm 33: 22 - Let Your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in You alone.

Deuteronomy 31: 6 - So be strong and courageous, do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you or abandon you. 

6 comments:

  1. Love your transparency here, Kristen. I keep telling myself that this home study is going to be the hardest part and waiting will just be exciting, but I'm sure reality will catch up to me soon. You are sooooo right that we are never, ever alone, regardless of how we FEEL. So glad our God doesn't depend on our feelings to draw near to us. I have a friend that adopted a domestic infant through Bethany, as well, and she had the opposite problem with her social worker. She would call everytime their book was shown. It was such an emotional roller coaster, feeling hope, then feeling rejected, that she had to tell her to not call unless she was chosen. But when her worker called her after they came to that agreement, she said it was a thrill like no other. Praying for you tonight. And for your sweet baby that is well on its way. -Malorie

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  2. Found your blog today, be encourged you are not alone! We are in the same process....8 months as a "waiting family" now, the true wait being much longer. We are also going through Bethany :) Just a different state. Hope you get "the call" soon!

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  3. Found your blog today, be encourged you are not alone! We are in the same process....8 months as a "waiting family" now, the true wait being much longer. We are also going through Bethany :) Just a different state. Hope you get "the call" soon!

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    1. Thanks! I hope you continue to follow our story! Being a waiting family is HARD. I just finished our application for a show hope grant a couple weeks ago! Of course our references didn't get in in time for the June 30th deadline, but next round hopefully! I will be praying for you and your waiting family!

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    2. We love Show Hope! We received a 5K grant from them! We also received some great educational tools for free along the which was so nice of them! They sent us a letter about halfway through waiting for a response just to let us know they were praying for us. Grant writing is hard work, but even if a few come through it is soooo worth it!

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    3. We love Show Hope! We received a 5K grant from them! We also received some great educational tools for free along the which was so nice of them! They sent us a letter about halfway through waiting for a response just to let us know they were praying for us. Grant writing is hard work, but even if a few come through it is soooo worth it!

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