Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Dear Waiting Mamas

Good Morning! As of yesterday we have been waiting 8 months! So I have 2 pictures for you, one from last month and one from yesterday:

7 Months waiting, our first month at our new place!
8 Months Waiting!

I was so thrilled with all the response I got from the last post. So many people can relate to what I talked about and understand the struggles of waiting. Of course we know that God's timing is better than ours, and we know that it will all be worth it when we meet our little one, but it doesn't make the waiting any easier.
Incase you haven't heard, we have some GREAT news - we got a grant from Show Hope for $4,000! That is so awesome, we can't even believe it. We have applied for other grants, so please continue to pray for money to come in for us.

So today, I thought I'd write a post to the waiting moms. By no means am I an adoption waiting expert, I only have 8 months of experience, while many of you probably have much longer, or multiple waiting experiences, but I want to put this out there for you, and for people who have been waiting shorter times than I have.

Dear Waiting Moms (& dads),
    First I want to commend you for making it this far. YOU DID IT! You passed the homestudy, completed the mountains of paperwork, went through trainings, possibly met with attorneys, made profile books, met with social workers, and more. Depending on how long you've been waiting you've probably also done some fundraising, applied for grants, set up a nursery, and completed a service plan. You had physicals done, mental health evaluations, made best friends with the people at the post office, and probably the person who answers the phone at your agency or attorney's office. You've discussed preferences, how open an adoption you want, figured out what country you want your child from, how many barriers you are willing to attempt to cross with interstate and intercontinental laws, what struggles you are willing to adopt a child with, how old a child you are willing to adopt, and what you want your family to look like. We have done a TON of work just to continue to wait. Adoption is not for the lazy!
   Then you started the wait, the big, long, sucky wait. There is no better way to say it except that the wait SUCKS. It is heart wrenching, exciting, lonely,anxiety provoking, and glorious all at the same time. I say glorious because one, we learn a lot, and we grow as people and as mothers. We learn patience, understanding, grace, and mercy. Patience in the waiting for our baby, grace and mercy with others as we field questions we don't want to answer, can't answer, or are offensive. We need understanding when we try to explain our situation, our choices, and our feelings to others who don't know because they have not been where we are. This situation causes us to be better people, to glorify God in ways that we never thought we would have to, and that is a glorious thing. It is also glorious because we know we will meet our child in the right time, if we didn't wait our prescribed amount of time, we would not meet the child that is meant to be part of our family. I want you to know that you are not alone. There is a community of us who all feel lonely sometimes, who all feel the hole in our heart, who all feel frustrated, and who feel like the big, long, sucky, wait will never end. So, even when you feel like you are the only one out there who is going through this, don't worry you aren't. We are all there with you.
  Advice for the wait - pray. A lot. It doesn't help the wait feel better, but it helps give you perspective. It also helps reassure you that you are on the right path for you and combats the negativity we all hear. Pray for your child and your birth mom like your life depends on it. Be an adoption advocate. Support others that are adopting, speak up for foster care, for orphans, for birth moms, and other adoptive families. Don't let people be negative about any type of adoptive situation. Take time with your family. Once your child joins your family everything will change. Whether it's just you, you and your spouse, you, your spouse, and kids, adding a family member will change your routine, your family dynamic, and probably a lot more that I don't know. So go on family outings, go on dates with your spouse, be spontaneous, and do things that you won't be able to do when your new family member arrives. Journal. Write letters to your child. Get their room ready. Buy what you can to get ready. And as hard as it is try to not think about it 24/7.
 So adoptive mamas, you are awesome. Keep fighting the fight for your child, keep supporting each other, and loving your child and his or her birth family from afar until he or she is in your arms.

And please pray for me, for our baby, and our family. And leave me a comment! I love when you leave comments!
I'm praying for you, and know I'm here going through this thing with you!

P.S. Please click on the Top Mommy Blog picture on the right! I am currently the #6 adoption blog on the site, and #211 over all! This draws more attention to my blog, which is awesome!