We just got back from a holiday vacation in Canada with family and it was great. We enjoyed some time off and spending time with relatives.
Monday was our 11 months waiting date, but we didn't get a picture until today- so here it is!
I wanted to share an interesting experience we had right before Christmas. December 9 we got a message from our social worker wanting to know if we would be willing to have our profile shown to a birth mother whose baby was already born. Now, this is not usually how our agency does things- typically your profile gets shown and you get contacted if the birth mom wants to meet you - and every so often you get notified how many people have viewed your profile. So, this is not something we were expecting at any point in our adoption journey. But, this was a special circumstance - but I am not going to share any of those details as this is personal information for the birthmom and now someone's child. We read over the information and said yes right away to showing our profile. And then we didn't hear anything for 10 days. This was a long 10 days anyway - the last week before winter break at school - and this made it eternally longer. There were a lot of reasons we thought this child would be a good fit for our family, but struggled with our emotions during this wait time. Adam told me one day, "I don't want you to get your hopes up." And that made me think, why not? And what emotions am I supposed to have? Was I supposed to be emotionally numb and pretend this wasn't going on? Was I supposed to be nervous? Cautious? Excited?
At first we didn't want to hope, but the more we prayed and read scripture the more we saw the command to hope. We read verses about how God fulfills His promises, and how faith can move mountains. And so we hoped, we hoped and prayed for this baby and birthmom, and for us as a growing family. We hoped in God and not in our situation or our social worker, or a phone call. We learned to hope in God's plan for us and our family. We were anxious, nervous, excited, and hopeful. We found out the Friday before Christmas that this baby was not ours, and that the birthmom picked a different family. And we were okay and at peace with that. There were multiple families praying the same prayers just as passionately as we were. It also gives us hope to know that that baby is with the family it is meant to be with. And We know this was not God not answering our prayers. God always answers prayers. He just knew this baby was not ours, and so His answer was not this one, keep waiting. And so, we continue to wait and to hope.
Hope is an active process and one that we have not been engaging in in regards to our baby. Yes, we have been and continue to be hopeful - we know our baby will join our family when he or she is supposed to, but we have not been actively hoping that our baby is coming.
For 2016 my word to focus on is HOPE. I will actively hope for what God has promised for us -in regards to our family and other aspects of my life. I will continue to hope when I feel like all hope is gone. On days where I am unsure of what I am doing, and even of our adoption, I will hope in the Lord. I have seen this blog come full circle in more than one way - the year started with us having to learn to wait quietly - I thought the name of the blog was perfect during this time - and I still struggle with waiting on some days. But I never focused on the next part of Psalm 62:5 - Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. This says that I can wait quietly for God because my hope is in Him. Hope is what allows us to wait quietly on God.
So, 2016 is the year of HOPE. Please remind me of that
What is your focus of the year? Do you have a word of the year? Post in my comments!
I'm going to share a link with you of a lot of the verses that taught me about hope during this time, and I'll share a couple with you that really stuck out to me. And a song about hope - be sure to listen to it.
Happy New Year! Please continue to pray for us, and let us know how we can pray for you.
Adam & Kristen
Romans 12:12 - Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Isaiah 40:31 - But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength...