Friday, April 29, 2016

15 Months Waiting

Hey! Thanks for stopping by today. First a little update. March 16 we found out that we received a grant from the JSC Foundation! This is a sizable grant, and they have asked us not to share the amount because they are a private foundation. But we feel so honored to have been chosen to receive it. In March also we had a fundraiser at Chick-Fil-A that my students set up for us, it was great. TONS of my kids showed up to help and to eat. We had face painting and we served people and talked to people about adoption. We still don't have the official numbers but from my calculations (ha!) we made $200 in donations and $3-400 in selling food. I'll let you know when we get official numbers, but wow that truly exceeded my expectations. The week before our fundraiser I prayed that we would bring in $300 and God really showed up.

As of yesterday we have been waiting for 15 months. WOW that is a long time. Well, it's not but it feels SO LONG!

It's hard waiting for something that you don't know when it will come. This waiting has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. I've never waited this long for something, especially when there's not an end in sight. I have, of course, waited for things before. I waited and prayed almost 6 months between deciding to leave my job at VSDB and getting my paperwork to start my job I have now, and God showed up in big ways to make that happen. We've prayed and waited to hear God give us an answer through many decisions. But this is a hard one. This is one I haven't heard an answer from God except "wait." And it has been hard to feel like God is coming through for us. Many days it feels like God is not showing up. Now- of course I KNOW this is not true, God is always working in the background even if we can't see Him. I'm glad that God is big enough to take my questions and my doubt, and that I'm not alone in this. David questions God's presence and plan multiple times through the Psalms, and he always goes back to remembering that God is holy, perfect, and always there and worthy of praise. The wait has taught me that it is okay to be honest with God, to not always trust my feelings, and 10,000 other things - if you want to talk to me about what I've learned let's do it! I feel like above all it is forcing me to trust that God's got this and that He will show up in a big way when the time is right and I CANNOT WAIT to share that story with you. Of course we hope and pray our baby comes sooner rather than later, but above all we pray for God's will to be done above our own. My mom always says, "If you don't know what to pray, pray for God's will to be done." And she is so right, that prayer never fails. So, I will wait on and trust in the Lord to fulfill His promises to me, even when I don't feel Him, even when I feel lost, even when I feel like there is no hope, because He is Holy. 

Psalm 22:1-3 My God, my God why have You abandoned me? Why are You so far away when I groan for help? Everyday I call to You, my God, but You do not answer. Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief. Yet You are holy. 

1 Peter 1: 6 - So be truly glad, there is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. 

1 comment:

  1. In Psalm 57 David is going through horrible times (he's in a cave, fleeing from Saul) and yet he is just thrilled with God (vs. 9-11)! You are so right that God is always worthy of praise.