Tuesday, June 28, 2016

What It's About

As of today we have been officially waiting for 17 months!

This past month we have been busy! We started going to a new church and a community group, I finished school, we went on vacation (we went to TN and it was awesome!), and I started selling crafts to help support our adoption. If you want to check those out you can visit my etsy shop: etsy.com/shop/waitingquietly. I make homemade personalized pillows & bags, and cute crochet animals. Message me if you have questions or want anything! Our goal is to raise the $6,000 remaining for our placement fee. If you can, we also have a donate button to the right of this that goes to our adoption paypal account. 

We have recently met a few good friends who have either adopted, or are in the process. It is so nice to have other people we know in this thing with us! The adoption community is literally the best. When you find someone else who "gets it" you hold on to them TIGHT. Hearing others' stories, and answering questions has made me think a lot about our adoption process, what we have learned, and why we are doing this. Why we are putting ourselves through torture month after month. And I realized, it is not about me. I am not doing this just for myself. Of course, we add to our family, and that is why we started this process, but it has become so much more than that. It is about the child, and his or her first family. It is about helping our child's first mother feel supported, cared for, and loved. It is about us dealing with our grief of infertility and the grief of the first mother placing her child with us. It is about the joy of us receiving that child, and the relief for the first mother knowing her child will be taken care of in a way she couldn't provide. It will be about us becoming her family, and her becoming our family. It will be answering hard questions our child asks, and letting him or her ask the first mother those questions. It will be about us helping our child recover from the trauma of leaving his or her first mother - and any trauma experienced in the womb, and helping the first mother recover from the same trauma. When I think about this, the wait gets a little less burdensome. We are not just waiting for a baby to grow our family. We are waiting for the right family to find us so we can be there to support them. It makes the money seem less daunting, I would give any amount of money to be in this symbiotic relationship, and be able to support someone in such a big way. 

So, as much as I want a baby and I want to grow my family, I want the right family to find us more than anything. I want the right family to find us so we can support them, be there for them, and carry out this mission that we were so clearly called to by God. We will wait for that as long as God calls us to.

Someone gave me this verse today and I want to share it with you: 
Habakkuk 2:3 - But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to a pass. Just be patient! It will not be late, not by a single day.


Thursday, June 2, 2016

2 Years Later

2 years ago TODAY (June 2) we made the official decision to adopt. Of course, we talked and prayed about it before then, but June 2 was THE DAY.

You can read about what last year on this day looked like here.

This year, June 2, we have been waiting for 16 months and a few days.

I Love this picture! These elephants are so cute! 


Last year we did a puzzle piece fundraiser, and here is (most of) the end result! For some reason the picture cut the sides off. But we raised a good amount of money doing this, and it was so easy and great to see how many people wanted to support us.

So, now we are 2 years in to this adoption process. We have completed a homestudy (twice), 2 years of training for the state, got 3 grants, raised around $2,500. We have connected with a ton of people through social media and in real life because of our adoption. The adoption community is one of the best there is. We have learned a LOT about adoption, foster care, and orphan care. We have learned to LOVE and GRIEVE adoption. We have learned to love birth families and appreciate their role in adoption and in their child's life. We have seen people bring home babies and celebrated with them, will also grieving our empty nursery and empty arms. The last 2 years have been hard, really hard, but I wouldn't trade them, because I know this will bring us to our baby, and it has changed us for the better in so many ways. We have new friends, a new community, and such a great support system for when we bring our little one home that we wouldn't have had otherwise. 

One thing about adoption is that it shows you your strengths, weaknesses, failures, successes, and struggles in ways you could never imagine. You will get to know yourself better than you want to. It is like a microscope into your life. I have learned that I don't have the patience I thought I did. I have asked God questions I never thought I would. I have learned that my anxiety gets the best of me more often than I would like. I've learned that I'm more selfish than I want to be or should be. But, I also learned that I am stronger than I thought, on days when I thought I couldn't do it anymore, with God's help, I got through it. My faith is stronger than it has ever been because I can't do this wait alone. I have learned that I have more love for people who need it than I thought I did. And of course, none of this is my own doing, I have these strengths because of God and His strength and His love for me. 

If you're thinking about adoption, just be ready to be shown things about yourself you may not like, have your faith stretched in the hardest way, and your heart opened more than you ever thought it could be. 
Adoption is HARD, but it is also so good, and it will one day complete our family. Hopefully, next year on June 2, 2017 we will have our child, the one we have waited so long for, but until then, we will continue to wait quietly, hope, and rely on God's strength. 

Please continue to pray for us! Pray for our hearts as we wait, pray for God's peace and patience to work in our lives. Pray for our baby to come home to us soon, but pray for God's timing. Pray in all things that God's will is done. Pray for our finances to come in. We still have a lot to pay for.
If you want to or can donate, just hit the button on the left and it will take you to our paypal site. If you want to help in another way check out this blog post here

And always, if you have questions please ask we are more than happy to answer. 

With love, 
Kristen