I think the first question most people ask us is, "why adoption?"
The answer is simple. We prayed about it and feel called to expand our family through adoption.
As said in our first post, I (Kristen) have had fertility issues since before we got married (I have PCOS). We started down the road of treating the issues, which need to be treated either way, but course of action depends on whether you want to pursue fertility or just treatment of symptoms. As the time came to see what it would take to pursue fertility, we just prayed and felt that was not the path for us. It is important to understand that adoption is not our plan B, or a "because we can't have 'our own' ..." it is a because we want to and feel that it is our story. And it is important to understand that infertility is part of our story, but it is not our whole story, and not the main reason for adoption.
We could probably have our own children if we wanted, we are just choosing not to and to provide a home for a child who needs one. It is also important to know that adoption is not charity, yes we want to give a home to a child who needs one, but we are also following the Biblical call to adopt. Adoption is the gospel, and the gospel is adoption. We are adopted in Christ's family as children of God, and because of that He calls us to adopt children into our family.
We are beyond thrilled about this experience and appreciate your interest and support.
If you have questions please ask, we are more than happy to share our story with you.
What about the birth family?
Well, this depends on the situation. Some birth parents want an open adoption and some prefer closed. We are open to either. If the birth mother/father want semi-regular visits we are open to that, if they want no visits or contact we are ok with that too. We aren't afraid that the birth mother will replace us, or try to take her child back. We are more than ok with the idea that the birth family may be our extended family! Adopting is all about family and this child has the opportunity to be loved by more people and that is fabulous.
When will you get a baby?
We have no idea. It is all up to a birth mother to choose us. We could wait 1 week after approval or 2-3 years. Though, we hope it won't be too long!
What if the birthmother wants to name the child?
We are okay with that, it is her baby too and she has the right to pass on a family name, or a name she likes, in some way or another.
Will you meet the birth mother/family?
Totally up to the birth mom, but probably at least to be interviewed by her and again at the hospital.
Will our child know he/she was adopted?
DUH! of course, our child's adoption story will be part of his/her life from day 1.
More info about adoption:
The average age of an expectant mother making an adoption plan: 25
Most adoptions now are at least semi-open
Adoption is EXPENSIVE - the average cost is $25-35,000.
Adoption appropriate language:
Don't say "gave baby up" say: "made an adoption plan"
Don't say "real mom" (if referring to the biological mom) say: " Birthmom" or "first mom" (or if she hasn't given birth, expectant mother)
Don't say "your own children", say "biological children" (adopted children are our own children)
Don't say "adoptive mom", say "mom"
Don't say "is adopted", say "was adopted" (once a child is adopted they are part of a family and it doesn't matter how they got there)
Know that once our baby is with us, his or her adoption story is private, we will share some details, but details about the birth family or why they chose adoption, is not ours to share, it is the child's story and he or she will decide when and if they want to share that information.
Have any more questions???? just ask we are more than happy to answer most anything.
James 1:27 - Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows...
Isaiah 1:17 - Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.